QUEST FOR THE BEST
Have you ever noticed that as soon as we are blessed with a child ;we dive headlong into a mad,” Quest for the Best”? We leave no stone unturned in trying to provide him the best doctors,the best teachers, best school, best coach , best books…in fact nothing but the best would do for our precious little one. Sounds familiar? Very much so… I, myself am guilty of being slightly obsessed with this ‘best’. So far so good… the problem begins when we start expecting our children to ,‘pay us back’ by being the best student, best athlete, best musician, best painter etc.
If for some reason they are not able to match our self –styled standards of excellence we begin to feel cheated , betrayed almost let down.
And this is where the problem begins.
Firstly , in this quest for “best-ness” we tend to overlook our child’s uniqueness. Instead of celebrating his individuality we start measuring him on pre-set yardsticks set by others.
And secondly children , if they sense our disappointment, often develop low self-esteem and fail to realize their true potential.I have often wondered how children feel when we judge them. I have written some lines from a child’s perspective and I think some of us would identify with this;…..so here goes…..
You always wanted the “best ”for me of that I’m quite sure
But my best was never quite good enough- you always wanted something more.
You dreamt that I would top my class, so I guess I’ve let you down
No matter how hard I try, I will never be the talk of the town.
You always picked the best books best clothes even my best friends for me
Still I could not become the kind of BEST you wanted me to be.
You are always trying to match my school grades with the boy who lives next door
You keep changing my football coach ‘cause you are not happy with my score
I’m okay with being the tenth in my class—who wants to be at the top?
So what if all my stage performances are always such a flop
I’ve never won a prize at school and it bothers you no end
That the smartest geek in my class is still not my best friend .
I’ve never been the teacher’s pet (she does’nt even know my name!)
And quite unlike all your friends kids; I have no claim to fame.
I cannot draw, or paint, or sing –I’m not good looking or tall
And as for basketball and chess, well, I’m just no good at all.
But I get by with passing grades at school , I play football and swim,
And though I don’t look like a movie star, I still love hitting the gym.
I love school and sports and games and just to hang out with kids my age
But what I want to ask you is --------
WHAT’S WRONG WITH BEING AVERAGE ?
So let’s go and take a second look at that ‘’average’ child sitting at home .It takes only the best parents in the world to find something special in that average child!!!!!